Thursday, 20 October 2016
Adam le Fondre winning Man of the Match instead of Dan Burn? There's a conspiracy theory for that.
Of course there bally well is - there's a conspiracy theory for absolutely anything you could care to mention. Dan Burn's sudden upturn in form? That's due the extra sprouts in his diet, of course. How else could he have cleared that 40-yard strike from his goal line but with fart power?
And what happened to that long-awaited statue of Dave Whelan? Well... because it was made out of Cadbury's Dairy Milk, a group of passing chocoholics kidnapped it from outside the West Stand.
Send me tinfoil to make a new hat and I'll reveal even more next week... *hic*
0:00 Elvis ate my neighbours! And poetic intros.
1:00 Nazi space planes! And Burton review with Si's Off The Terrace report.
5:00 Referee in 'sunglasses at night' shock! And the Burton game was pap.
7:00 'Agnes' le Fondre bribery! And Bogdan's 6-yard box chicken.
12:00 The Big Four control 100% of the world's orange harvest! And deferred expectations.
15:00 Barry wears flowery boxer shorts! And Si's Leeds Off The Terrace thingy.
19:30 Yanic Wildschut secretly prefers emus! And Statman's Leeds stat pack.
24:00 Three-eyed swans in the River Dougie! And Latics have never been overrun.
27:40 Iodine in the water supply! And crocked Gilbey in for Power.
28:30 Aliens sacked Owen Coyle! And Brighton preview.
32:30 Seagull waste is an aphrodisiac! And Brighton predictions.
35:00 Feral cats siphoning my electricity! And walking football shoutout.
Thursday, 13 October 2016
Have you ever wished PWU could consist entirely of previews? Well, someone must have because the Fairy Fatmother has this week brought you 40 solid minutes of forward-thinking Latichat. Also: farts.
Incidentally, due in part to Weight Watchers, PWU are currently looking for a replacement Fairy Fatmother. Please let us know if you possess a large wand of wonders or indeed a monster stick. Whatever one of those is.
0:00 'Nothing to discuss here' intros
2:30 Skip to the Burton preview! With NEW comedy duo Max & Perks
6:00 Statman stat pack: Burton
12:00 "No Clough imprint" and beard injuries
16:00 Luke Garbutt rolling on?
19:00 Carefully considered Burton predictions with Si's Oddschecker 22:30
23:30 'Ludicrous' Leeds preview & Elland Rd. transfer history with Adam
28:00 Shortsless Leeds predictions not sponsored by orange fizzy drinks
36:00 Paul's Wimbledon victory & tinpot accusations(!)
Thursday, 6 October 2016
Note: This week's flavour text has been postponed as the regular author is currently under investigation for 'irregularities' involving placement of Penguin biscuits within the PWU fridge. Because he didn't notice the hidden camcorder, he was caught switching mint flavour Penguins with the inferior orange and regular flavours after the other panellists had gone home.
In his absence, the following timecodes have been provided by Google Timecode, a new piece of technology that scans over 17 and a half sources of data including average number of spammers per blog post to provide 100% 50% accurate descriptions.
0:00 Non-buzzing intrps ~%$
2:00 Brantf0rd chat including elongated ?stats
3:00 PWU hearts DB (Dan Burn) & YW (Yawning Wildshots)
7:30 Mailbag: Morgan on the periphery? %%
14:00 Mick's pilgrimage to St Holt's birthland
15:30 Thinternational break with the White Stripes
17:30 Sacking season: Preston strike again
21:00 £ntry corrupt£d~! FFF
22:00 Owen's transfer u-turn & naive veterans
27:00 Pro sport: "Everything has a price" & reskilling sawker players
33:00 Odelusi scored?! And Burton at the (Spanish) Villa
37:30 401 Marathons: that's a lot of nuts!
Fartwatch: 13:40, 37:40
Thursday, 29 September 2016
"Wow, Preston's only just finished and the Brentford game is mere minutes away from kickoff! This Championship thing is passing us by far too quickly for my liking.
"In fact I'll have you know I was born on 1 July and will be drawing my pension in two months' time. Life's all too short when you're a fruit fly like me, eh?"
*Is flattened by extra large fly swat
Can't turn back that clock, Marty. Onwards and Beewards...
Apologies in advance for the weird robot noises (CAPS) in certain parts of this 'cast.
0:00 Upbeat intros with ROBOT ATTACKS and more dwarf threshold chat
2:30 Melancholy Preston Off The Terrace report courtesy Simon Gee
4:00 SPACE INVADER ATTACK and PNE match stat pack
8:00 Wouldn't have scored all night and BERZERK ROBOTS INVADE
14:00 Caldwell out... to lunch?
18:00 Slightly chipper Wolves Off The Terrace report with Si (Caldwell back in!)
22:00 Passing Power with sidekick Perksman
27:00 Buxton vs. his nagging wife AKA the East Stand
34:00 A surprising result?
36:00 Bee positive: a Brentford preview with zero postman puns
39:00 Si's Oddschecker & Bee-dictions (boo, you used that pun once already)
47:00 FAB throwback: budgetary issues & survival